Dear Lady Gaga,
Oh i'm feeling so incredibly rubbish right now, it's really not giving me a break this week. I just feel so disgusting. My life consists of binging, purging + exercising how exciting does that sound. I know that is probably too much information, but to be honest I don't think people should shy away from how devastating + life controlling eating disorders can be. I think i shall use this post to rant my frustration about the stereotyping of people with eating disorders.
Something that really annoys me is how eating disorders are frowned upon. It makes me really angry because they are a mental illness they are no less of an illness than say something like cancer, so they should be dealt with in exactly the same way. For example people seem to be afraid of asking people with eating disorders how they're doing, why? It's not like we're gonna breakdown in front of you or anything nine times out of ten you won't get an honest answer because people with eating disorders always try to cover up slap on a brave face and pretend everything is fine. But the fact that somebody asked about them in the first place could really make them feel good, to know that not everybody finds them freaky or attention seeking.
I think it's wrong that people are so quick to judge people with eating disorders. See I've been called selfish, vein + attention seeking. When to be honest I am far from it. When you have an eating disorder you're not doing it to be awkward or to be the center of attention it's the furthest thing from that you just want to dissappear and waste away because you honestly don't care about anything. It sucks all the life out of you and it is literally like hell. So it makes me soooooooooo angry when people belittle eating disorders because unless you've experienced one you have no idea the torture your brain puts you through. It's horrible feeling so much self-hatred. You feel lonely, trapped, frustrated and confused and sometimes you don't even want to wake up in the morning.
So personally i think more needs to be done to stress and promote how serious eating disorders are. They are not a joke or glamours they're life threatening diseases. That's another thing that annoys me how people see a skinny person and they're like oh they're anorexic. It's like NO. Just because somebody is thin that does not make them ill. Also there are soo many different forms of eating disorders not just anorexia and bulimia and because of this they are so hard to diagnose and treat you could be like me and have a mixture of all different kind of issues that relate to your eating and self-esteem.
However i do not think promoting eating disorders with the image of somebody that is extremely skinny and underweight is the best way forward. As not all people who suffer from eating disorders are underweight, with eating disorders the mind of somebody that's 10 stone could be working in exactly the same way as the mind of somebody that is 5 stone. Using pictures and stories in the magazines of people that are waaaay to skinny and on the edge of death with and eating disorder which i understand is meant to shock people but to a person with an eating issue this will just make them feel even worse about themselves, like me when i first started recovery i was skipping meals and making myself sick but i was a healthy weight but still had the tourture going on in my head and when people would say to me well you don't look anorexic or you don't have anorexia that would just make me feel like an utter failure and all i wanted to do was just lose the weight and prove that i actually did have a problem. So i did and then they listened to me it sucks that you have to be wasting away before people help you.
I think with eating disorders the quicker you catch them the better because the longer it goes on the more power and control your illness has over you and the harder it is to break the cycle and recover. I'm in recovery right now and to be honest it's really not going very well but i am going to stick at it tis one of the hardest things i have ever had to do in my life but i know it's something i have to do and it'll all be worth it when i'm healthy again + at the Born This Way Ball.
So there was my little rant Gaga, i could have gone on more but i've not got the energy today. Too tired :| I really hope you read this post and if you could respond and help spread the message about eating disorders so we can try and prevent these terrible illnesses. If i could just stop one person from going through the hell i've been through that would make me so happy.
This is a long shot but i was wondering Gaga whether you could do something within the Born This Way foundation that focuses on eating disorders or whether you could spread the message. I would love to set up a blog or a website that can help people going through this hell. So i was wondering whether you would help me. To know that i have you on my side fighting this battle with me would give me so much inspition and motivation to recover and i'm sure because you're such an inspirational role model you would encourage other people to take the next step to recovery.
If you do have an eating disorder and you are reading this you are so much more than you let yourself believe. Don't let you're illness control you it's really not worth it. Accept help begin recovery no matter how long and strenuous it may be i promise you it'll be the best thing you have ever done and not only will it give you your life back it will make you so much happier and give you back the control you've always wanted.
Gaga if you could respond to this in any way it would make me the happiest person in the world. + i just want to say a big thank-you because throughout this whole experience you are the one thing that has always been there for me never changed and made me feel safe. You have seriously pulled me through some really dark places and without you i really don't think i would be here today..You have no idea how grateful i am, i love you mother monster (:
PAWS UP
Becca Germanotta.
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