March 21, 2012

i'm still in love with judaaas baby. ☮

Not posted in sooooo long, i feel really bad. I am so incredibly annoyed right now that i cannot find a decent  version of Oprah's Next Chapter i've watched bits of it but not the whole way through because all the videos on youtube are wither cut or not in sync but i shall keep searching for it and i shall find a decent version even if it kills me. When i've watched it i would expect a rather Gaga obsessed post well aren't they all on here but from what i've seen she looks incredible and she's just my idol i wanna meet her soooooooo bad! 


I love you my amazing Mother Monster you really do mean everything to me you're beautiful and you fxcking rule the world (pardon my language) i really do need to meet you like soon. Oh + the latest twitter pic ohmyholymotherofgaga :O how flipping beautiful do you look, why can't i look like you?! Oh oh oh + 1 MONTH CAN'T WAIT, so can we have the Uk tour dates pleaaseee? 

I LOVE YOU
:)

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 



March 17, 2012

Ohohohohoh look what i made, just experimenting (:

I actually almost forgot to post these. Okay so technically i was suppose to be doing college work in the libary when i made these. BUT i learnt lots of new techniques on photoshop so it was totally worth it. I'm actually quite proud whatcha think? ;) 

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 


Okay so that was a pointless day...


This is just going to be my little rant about the uk talent show the X factor just about how incredibly pardon my lanugage but fxcked up it is. Some people may read this and just think i am being bitter because i didn't get through but to be honest i didn't expect to i was just auditioning to try and gain some confidence and if i got through that would have just been the best thing. 

But before i get into my rant i just want to say a big thankyou to our mother monster because part of the reason i was so calm when i didn't get through was because i remembered her quote "My new years resolution: Never be afraid to be kicked in the teeth. Let the blood and the bruises define your legacy" this quote made me pick myself up i felt like utter crap and totally humiliated but then i remembered the quote. It kinda numbed the pain a little it made me think just pick yourself up, practice like hell and try again. I'm not going to give up, i want this soooo bad. As Gaga says i'm gonna make it i'm gonna be a star because now which quote do i used here? because i was born this way or because i have nothing left to lose? Huum well both really. Anyway i just wanted to say how much that quote helped me get through today. I sang Electric Chapel by the way it's such a fun song to sing. Maybe i should have sang Born This Way that was my back up... ahh well no point beating myself up about it now just gotta try harder next year. 

As i said i really kinda knew that today wasn't going to go that well because well i just had a feeling that i wasn't going to get through but i forced myself to audition just try try and gain a little confidence and get some auditioning experience, but the whole day was just so cold, miserable and seems utterly pointless. Can i just say Simon Cowell how amazingly disorganized and how much your show takes the michael. I mean making us stand around in a queue for 6+ before you even start the auditions what's that all about. It was freezing, rainy i swear my hands went a purpely blue colour. + what was that queue actually for so you could  get footage for the show of people standing in line waiting to audition but we didn't actually need to wait in that line did we? no just had to stand there freezing our asses off while pretending to cheer and be happy for the camera. Also for a popular tv show it really doesn't have very good technical supplies if that makes any sense the microphone had an echo to it and we couldn't hear a word the stupid guy at the front was trying to tell us. One of the highlights however was that Mr Dermot O'Leary showed up but for all of 5 minutes and with the stupid echoey mic we had no idea what her was saying to us, also i need to add that Dermot i love you buddy but you were wearing faaaaaaaaar to much makeup! Oh and do not even get me started on the booths, how are people supposed to hear themselves think and concentrate on singing when you can hear every bugger else. Ohmygosh i know i must sound really bitter but i am seriously not bothered about the whole not getting through thing because like i said before i expected it, but it's just the way the whole audition process is it's degrading and unfair. Oh i remembered something else to back up my whole degrading point if you get through you get a gold card but if you don't they scratch you're number off your band right in front of you and you have to leave down the stairwell. Nice. 

I am sorry if i sound really bitchy and disrespectful i'm really not trying to. It's just ashame because i've waited like sooo long to audition for that show + now i've finally done it i'm just really dissappointed with the whole experience. It used to be such a good show but i don't think i can watch it this year because i will just be able to see right through it. Ahh well the only good thing on it at the moment is Kelly Rowland anyway. 

Ohohohohoh. But on a positive not i have decided to go for that fashion blog i was on about not that anybody is going to read it because face it nobody is even reading these posts apart from my amazing Taraa! I love you my hooker. But as i've said fashion and music are my life and i am happiest when i am styling so it'd be awesome to share my fashion ramblings on a blog because this one is so much fun! 


PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 




March 15, 2012

we need a little pretty (:


Dear Lady Gaga,
Blogging from college again, personally i think it's the best way to kill a long lunch time. I am actually soo, soo excited for the weekend but also incredibly nervous at the same time. It is certainly going to be very eventful. Well first of all i have my X factor audition on Saturday which i have to be up at a ridiculous time for, as i want to get there as soon as i can so i can get my audition over with as soon as possible because i know how incredibly nervous i am going to be. Although i am soo, soo nervous i am also incredibly excited because i have been waiting and working for this for a very long time. I know these type of shows aren't the only way or in some cases the best way to get noticed but i am hoping if nothing else that i shall gain some confidence from this whole experience. Obviously i would like to be noticed and get a record contract but i am just being realistic and not trying to get my hopes up too much.  I've not finalised anything yet but i think i am going to sing Born This Way just because it is such an incredible song, also i wanted a song that i know i can't mess up that i know totally off by heart and that i am 100% comfortable with if i'm going to be waiting around all day i won't have the confidence to practise in front of a crowd which i know you're probably thinking well how are you going to manage a music career, but like i've said before i have always wanted to be a singer because music has helped me so  so much you have no idea so i wanted to become a recording artist and hopefully the music i make will influence and help other people like the music i liked help me. My main aspiration is to spread the message that it is okay to be different we are all individual and unique and nobody deserves to be ridiculed for standing out from the crowd. So yeah the X factor this weekend very, very nervous i just hope it goes well. Wish me luck Mother Monster!!

The second thing i am mega, mega excited for is your Oprah interview airing on Sunday i don't thinking it's airing live in the Uk i've not really looked into it so i shall probably have to watch it online during the week. But it looks so interesting i bet it's going to be amazing. From the many pictures i have reblogged of this on tumblr and the preview it looks soo soo good and you look so incredibly stunning as ususal. I think it's going to be really good to see you in your home with your Mom just the a real insight into the real Gaga i already know it's going to be mega inspiring i can just tell from the preview. Oh + so excited to see the bits from the Born This Way Foundation awww i just can't wait. 

So i think that's pretty much all i had to say, Oh yeah and also i was thinking i might start posting random fashion mumblings on here. You see music + fashion are my life and although being a recording artist is my dream i really want to get into the fashion industry it just facinates me and when i'm around clothes, shoes jewls etc... i just feel so happy. So i was thinking of creating a new blog to show off my outfit of the day and share my thoughts on the world of fashion. As cheesy as that may sound sorry i am very tired. But i'm not sure if i will do that i might just post the stuff on here because i'm scared that if i create a new blog then one of them will get neglected + i don't want to do that i love my blogs. So we shall see... Plus not that many people are even reading this but it's fun for me to get my thoughts and feelings out there.

Gosh this post was longer than i thought! Okay now i'm done because i have to go and meet my friend for a little catch up. So much monster love.

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 

March 13, 2012

touch me baby but don't mess up my hair...


Dear Lady Gaga,
Okay so i've just come back from my therapy appointment + i have this new diet plan thingy + the deal is for every meal + snack i eat i earn an hour online. So yeah going off what's been happening lately i'm never going to be online. Which sucks so much because i swear this blog is the only thing keeping me going like my own little get away. I love it so much, now i'm hardly going to get on it. But i don't want to jinx it but blogger isn't blocked at college so hopefully i can go to the library + post from there, watch this they'll block it now. Anways i just wanted to post before my online life is totally cut off :| Also they threatened me with hospital again, they always say that if i don't change i'll be admitted but they've been saying this for like months now so i find it pretty hard to believe to be quite honest. Even though they did sound pretty serious this time but we shall see. I had to have my bloods done today omg it was the worst thing the nurse was like aww you've got tiny veins she had to stick the needle in both of my arms it took them like 6 attempts before they finally drew blood aw i was shaking i thought i was going to be sick, which i was surprised about because i normally quite good with needles. So yeah that was my eventful day, quite boring to be honest but i got an easter egg :) imma happy. Oh + BORN THIS WAY BALL DATES PLEASE, I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED THEM. Yes the capitals were necassary when are you going to give them to us mother monster? 

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 





So i just watched Cyberbully...


Yeah i didn't mean to sound American at the beginning i need to stop watching American films :P But the video will kind of explain itself. I'm feeling like utter crap so that's why i look like utter crap. I realize i sound really quiet it's just i'm really tired it's been a loooong couple of days.

So i watched Cyberbully last night, this morning + in fact it is soo good i'm watching is again right now, Emily Osment is such an incredible actress. I know this video is kinda similar to the one i posted before but i just think this issue really needs to be talked about + more needs to be done to raise awareness of cyber bullying, teen depression, eating disorders + suicide because it's really serious stuff + the side effects can be devastating. We need to try and gain some more control over this stuff because it is really getting ridiculous. So i am going to post the links to Cyberbully please watch it, it's such an incredible film + really gives you an insight into the hurtful effects your comments could have on somebody. Also please visit bornthiswayfoundation.org + get involved, do you bit + help the change.

CYBERBULLY:






Please watch the film + maybe you could make a video or blogpost or whatever to show your support :D

So that's my little rant for today ;) 

Becca Germanotta xox, 

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 


March 12, 2012

because lady gaga is beautiful ;)



I think Lady Gaga really suits pastel colours, well to be quite honest she suits flipping everything but i think she looks just stunning in this outfit. These are two of my favorite pictures of mother monster i love it when she dresses relativity normal but she still manages to look unique and well Gaga.

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 


Another new background :)


^ me too ;)
Well i'm off college again today because i had the worst night ever last night and it's left me feeling really low. I don't want to go into too much detail because it's quite personal but it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I honestly thought i was going to wake up this morning + my best friend would be dead. Yeah suicide is not funny or a joke. But on the brighter side i decided to change my blog background i am so obsessed with unicorns so this is perfect. So to go with my new background + unicorn obsession i thought i would post some unicorns...



many more where that came from i can tell you (:

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 

March 09, 2012





PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 



Dear Lady Gaga + Tara Take Four ♥


Again with the attractive icon right there ^ Just a little video to show you my amazing new Gaga t-shirts. I'm really sorry it freezes a lot + the music kinda all messed up which sucks because i was so proud of my little video. Anyways i got home from the hospital about 2 hours ago it was family therapy which is the most awkward thing in the world. I've not been to the hospital for like a month it was soo weird going back after so long. I had to be weighed today as well :| Urgh nobody is very happy with me because i lost again, i'm so shocked because i've eaten so much lately i was convinced i'd be huge but i suppose that's just me. So yeah i'm watching the Blind Side again for like the 10th time this week. I got it for my birthday + i swear it's like my favourite film it's soooo good :D

LOVE YOU LADY GAGA! 

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 

March 06, 2012

The sun is shining today...


Dear Lady Gaga,
Just because i'm in college + can get on blogger. So i'm sat in the libary with Born This Way blasting through my headphones "Bloody Mary" is on at the moment the sun is out it's freezing but the sun is out so it's a goo day (:

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 


March 05, 2012

I WANNA MEET GAGA.

^ aww look how beautiful you are :)

Dear Lady Gaga,
Just a little post to say HEY. As i've not posted for a few days it's just it was my birthday yesterday so i've been celbrating with the family, i've had such a lovely weekend + got some amazing present which include another GAGAXTERRY book which is going on my wall + TWO Gaga tops imma very happy i need to take pictures when i get a minute so busy with college work at the moment everything is full speed ahead got too much to do but i shall deffo post them at some stage this week. Also we NEEEEEED more tour dates please because i need to see the prices i am pretty sure i should have saved enough money now for the actual ticket but i just need to be sure. I still cannot believe how amazingg it is going to be i NEEEEEEEEEEED to be in that pit + be chosen to meet you Gaga. Seriously i was looking through the book today with my mum + sister + i want to meet you sooo bad it physically hurts, uhh please notice me mother monster, when are you gonna notice me? Anyway i shall stop moaning at you now i WILL MEET YOU, i am determined i have to you have no idea how complete my life would be. I lvoe you so damn much mother monster you're just so out of this world if that makes any sense. Ohohohohoh + see this is how much i love you i have now worked you into my second college project my eating disorder campaign are now working on a collaboration with the BornThisWayFoundation apparently, if only i think i would actually die i'd be too excited ;)

Gaga if you read this please contact me i'm not crazy i promise even tho i may sound it i just love you so much you have no idea. My email is beccabananaramaXD@live.co.uk + my twitter is @BeccaGermanotta 
:D

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 





March 01, 2012

The Born This Way Foundation.

Dear Lady Gaga,
I am in college right now writing this post because i just couldn't wait till i got home. Watching the BTWF launch last night really made my day. I actually did not think i could admire you anymore but i really do. You are just so damn inspirational, you looked beautiful and you are so well spoken you always know just what to say. I am now even more determined to meet you and tell you how much you mean to me. The launch just confirmed what a kind and loving person you are it really showed how devoted you are to promoting love and acceptance you are just so amazing. Also you are so incredibly cute and you make me laugh so much some favourite quotes include "If i'm dead i don't give a shit" and "If i can make a song called Just Dance popular, i can make a song called Just Be Nice" they made me smile, i was like that's my Gaga.


I said this before but i want to be an ambassador for this charity so bad. Watching the launch last night just confirmed how life changing this foundation is going to be. I totally agree with you when you say that some teachers don't give a shit and we need to use young people to combat the problem of bullying. As some teachers really do not seem to act on their responsibility to prevent violence within their classrooms. I would really like to be the next empowered youth, you have no idea how much i want to be part of this foundation. It represents like everything i stand for, working for a movement that aims to empower youths and make people realise that it is okay to be themselves would be like a dream come true. 


I think the idea of the Born Brave Bus is amazing, I am so looking out for this when i come to the BTWB it's going to be so damn incredible. I'm going to get on that bus and say i want to help, i am going to be a part of this foundation even if it kills me. I think the bus will be a great way for young people to share there stories, help each other and develop more self confidence. I also think it will make monsters realise that they are not alone, that although each person's story is different and unique they are not alone so many young people are going through similar experiences. This foundation is going to help me so much you have no idea i am hoping that by focusing on helping out with the foundation and concentrating on positive body image and role models then it will help me be more positive and motivate me to beat this stupid disease.


Like i keep saying i want to be involved in this foundation so much and won't stop until i am :P + as always i want to meet you soooooo bad Gaga and last night just made me even more determined i swear it would just mean everything to me to meet you and tell you how freaking incredible you are. So if you could respond to this post in anyway it would make me the happiest little monster in the world. Oh + Cynthia Germanotta you are one of the most beautiful and inspiring people that shall ever live!


So i have come to the conclusion that The Born This Way Foundation is the best thing eveeeeeer and it is going to change the world!

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 


February 29, 2012

3 hours!


Just look at that bus. Ohmyholymotherofgaga you have no idea how excited i am for this. It's going to be LIVE. Oh so excited this foundation is going to be like the best thing ever. It's going to inspire and help so many people i mean "BTW Empowering Youth . Inspiring Bravery" just says it all really. + i know you probably think i'm little bit biased because i absolutely adore Gaga but even with that put to one side this foundation is going to be life changing and really help young people especially monsters. 


I want to be an ambassador for this foundation so badly you have no idea like as much as i want to meet Lady Gaga i want to be a part of this foundation it would be so great to be able to help and inspire people to brave and spread the message that it's okay to be who ever the hell you want to be if that makes sense. Oh and i can't actually wait to see what Gaga is going to wear i bet she is going to look so  damn beautiful like she always does.


PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 

February 28, 2012

Gaga :(



Another really, really bad night i am so annoyed at myself. I cut again :| i am really ashamed of myself i didn't want to cut again the scars were just beginning to fade. I need to speak to Jen (my therapist) but she's away for like another week + it's my birthday on Sunday grrr this was all supposed to have gone away by then i can't believe i've let myself get this bad . Why am i such an idiot? I can't believe i let what my parents say upset or annoy me anymore because it's really not worth it. Gosh Gaga why can't i just come + live with you + you be my life coach that would be the best thing. Listening to some clips from interviews "You just remember that you're a god damn superstar and you were born this way" makes me cry everytime i am really trying mother monster i really am. I just don't feel like a superstar right now. I just want to meet you so bad Gaga, you really do mean everything to me no matter how obsessive or cheesy that sounds but you have no idea. You are so amazing how you've managed to forget your insecurities well i know you don't feel like a queen all of the time but you are my queen. "So when you leave here tonight know that at least one person believes in you" actually crying right now because i wish you were here :P 
I love you Gaga so so much! 

PawsUp!
Amen Fashion † 



February 27, 2012

Dear Lady Gaga Take One.


The first of my video messages to Gaga. Well i know how attractive that image is right there but i just wanted to get a video posted to say a big, big thankyou because seriously i could have got through last night without you Gaga. 


Paws Up!
Amen Fashion † 

no college for me today.


Dear Lady Gaga,
Okay so i read back last nights post god i sound pathetic but that was just how i was feeling last night. I didn't really sleep last night and after what happened last night i'm waaaaaay to worn out for college which sucks because i really don't want to get anymore behind. + i have weighed myself but i don't trust the bathroom scales anymore + i don't have therapy for like another three weeks so i won't know what i weigh  which is actually going to drive me crazy. Which is going to cause so many arguments with my parents because they want to sit down with me tonight + they are literally going to force me to eat all week, which is great i'm going to feel like crap for my birthday next weekend. I think i'm just going to try + starve until my birthday so i can actually enjoy it, i just need to get a little bit of weight off to feel better. But i wish it would go away, i hate what i'm doing to my family i really do, my mum lay with me last night + told me she was really worried i felt so bad. So now i'm just going to pretend everything is okay it'll make them feel better no matter how crap i feel i'm not going to let it show, that's what i have this blog for to vent out my frustration. + I have you Mother Monster :) 

Paws Up!
Amen Fashion † 

February 26, 2012

my youtube channel


On my quest to meet you Gaga, i have now decided i am going to upload a video like everyday or every other day + send you think link along with my blog link. Just in the hope that you might notice me. Iknow to some people this might seem crazy + weird but if you read my pervious post you would find that i am actually going out of my mind + lady gaga is like the only thing that can fix me at the moment. So please Gaga if you see this please, please, please respond. I love you so much mother monster! 


Paws Up!

Amen Fashion † 

helpmemothermonster


Dear Lady Gaga,
Okay right now has to be one of the darkest moments i've ever had. I feel so horrible it's untrue. I actually don't know what to do. I just want to stop feeling :( My parents hate me my Dad threw a chair across my room and told me that i'm going to tear the family apart everybody is stressing at me, i feel fat + disgusting. All i want to do right now is purge, cut and crawl up in a ball + disappear i swear the only thing making it better is your Born This Way album. What do it do mother monster? 

Help! 



From what i have read this is a picture of ladygaga today! aw she looks so amazingly cute in this photo i just had to post it.

Paws Up 

Amen Fashion † 

i freaking love littlemonsters.com

OMG LITTLEMONSTERS.COM IS SO DAMN AMAZING. I'm actually in love it's like Gaga heaven it's so nice to speak to so many amazing little monsters + not feel like a freak. 
MonsterLove + Paws Up!

Amen Fashion † 

February 25, 2012

stefani angelina joanne germanotta is incredibly stunning.












I can't believe i have only just seen these photos. As you know Stefani Germanotta is my ultimate inspiration + she's just so incredibly stunning it's untrue and i am now in love with these photos. + i want her hair so much it's amazing! I wish i looked like this. <3

Amen Fashion † 

February 24, 2012




very very happy!

^Look, look, look so happy (:

Helltotheflipping yes! I got accepted to littlemonsters.com i actually had fogotten i'd applied but opened my emails today + found this message: 

"You're Invited to LittleMonsters.com!
Welcome Beccakyliejo,
You're one of the first little monsters with pre-private access to enter the world of LittleMonsters.com. Congratulations!"

So yes i am very, very happy right now. 

Paws up!
Amen Fashion † 


americanoooooooo


I FREAKING LOVE YOU LADY GAGA!
Good morning, i feel so strange like surprisingly cheerful but crappy at the same time, it's weird :P Anways imma try and keep the cheerfulness going. So i'm on twitter + all i want to do is tweet Gaga until she notices me. No matter how stalker-ish that sounds but omg i want to meet that lady soooooooooooooo bad it kills me. Why is is so hard? She's like my idol i just want to meet her + give her a big hug because she's just so nice. Never going to give up on my dream of meeting the most amazing lady in the world. I really wish she knew i existed. Gaga is you read this please please please please get in contact with me beccabananaramaXD@live.co.uk or twitter: @BeccaGermanotta, i just want to meet you so so much. Aw i told you i'm in a very i want to meet Gaga mood today like serious. Oh + new background i was up until like 1am sorting it out i'm still not completely happy with it but it shall do for now (:


I've gotta go get ready to go to my Aunty + Uncles house, but i think Born This Way shall be played in the car on the way or should i listen to The Fame decisions decisions they are both incredible albums. Probably Born This Way because i can't seem to tear myself away from it. 

Amen Fashion † 


February 23, 2012

on the runway dressed in his best.


^ my gaga picture of the day right there, how amazingly stunning you look mother monster. I love you so flipping much it's actually untrue. You have no idea how much i wanna meet you. Oh + MORE TOUR DATES SOON PLEAAAAASE :) 

Amen Fashion † 


February 22, 2012

Gagaklien.



+ paws up! because i can't actually wait for your perfume it is going to be amazing. I read on 4music.com that you wanted it to have the scent of blood and i was like that's my Gaga. Really can't wait to get my hands on a bottle. Oh + in your tweet "Boys, Boys, Boys" was that a hint to the special song that is going to be in the commercial huummm i wonder you do like to keep us guessing don't you mother monster. That's why we love you so much.

Amen Fashion † 

i'm a bad kid baby.


^ How beautiful do you look, aww baby gaga (: 

Dear Lady Gaga,
So i've not posted for a few days because i'm finally back at college and to be honest it's taken a lot out of me. So much work to catch up on + stuff. Urgh it's amazing that i have like no motivation or concentration at the moment. So yeah everything is peachy hehe. Actually if i'm honest it seems like apart from going back to college nothing has really changed lately, things still seem pretty much stuck :| 

I have a dietitian appointment tomorrow. That should be fun because the last time i saw her was like last July things have certainly changed since then. I'm kinda nervous about tomorrow well not nervous about actually going to the hospital and making up my new meal plan :| but i'm nervous for what's going to happen when i get home. This is like a big deal because my parents + Jen my therapist sat down the other week for three and a half hours discussing my disorder and how they can try and get me better. The plan is pretty much the same but i am going to be watched like 24/7 and i know it is going to be on of the hardest things i have ever had to do. I'm not sure it's going to go very well because at the moment i don't think i'm in that place, i really don't think i can cope with increasing my diet i mean i can hardly keep drinks down these days. So i'm worried that i'm not going to be able to do it. But i know, i know i have to try my best and i will but i just don't want people to get mad at me. I hate that this stupid disorder causes so much confrontation and so many arguments, i hate being mad with my family but the eating disorder part of my brain tells me i don't need them that all i need is to be skinny. It's driving me crazy, i mean if i even think about eating and not puriging it's like somebody is sticking their nails into my head and squeezing really hard, it's horrible because i'm not talking about the average person's nails i'm talking your long ass new york nails. Ahaa listening to You & I right now it reminded me of the Monster Ball. Aw that's cheered me up you always cheer me up Gaga you're flipping amazing. 

Expect a rant tomorrow because i probably will not be happy with the amount of food i'm going to have to eat but i know if i wanna beat this then i need to try and eat. I will just think "What would Gaga do?" i mean if you can beat it then so can i.. hopefully.

I LOVE YOU LADY GAGA
PAWS UP.

Amen Fashion †