Dear Lady Gaga,
You know i said last week was hell, yeah well now i'm in trouble. I had my therapy appointment on Wedesday, Jen my therapist weighed me and i had lost 2kg... in a week i was so shocked because i felt so huge and disgusting i was convinced i had put weight on. Now it's like my worst nightmare because i have to put on like 500g by my next appointment on Feb 1st or they are going to hospitalize me i am so scared i mean i really don't want to put weight on but i really don't want to go into hospital to i'm just so confused and have no idea what to do. A big part of me still wants to carry on with the eating disorder and carry on losing weight because i can't stand to see the numbers on the scales increase. But then there is another part of me which when i listen to it is like why the hell are you doing this for? you're underweight for god sake just stop it but it's strange i just can't seem to listen to that side. However i am taking it a day at a time and trying to listen to the sensible side because i'm at that point now where i need to change or this stupid disease is gonna kill me and i'm not gonna let that happen because i wanna get better, meet you, become a recording artist and campaign and spread the message to help other people with eating disorders not have to go through the things i went through. Okay i am going to stop rambling now but i just needed to kinda get all that out... Oh and all i can say is THANK GOD FOR BORN THIS WAAAAAAAY!
Paws up xox.
∇ Amen Fashion †
♥
Please, listen to that rational side of yourself dear. You have so much to look forward to in life, don't let it all slip away <3
ReplyDeleteaww i'm trying dear but it's soo hard... <3
ReplyDelete