This is just going to be my little rant about the uk talent show the X factor just about how incredibly pardon my lanugage but fxcked up it is. Some people may read this and just think i am being bitter because i didn't get through but to be honest i didn't expect to i was just auditioning to try and gain some confidence and if i got through that would have just been the best thing.
But before i get into my rant i just want to say a big thankyou to our mother monster because part of the reason i was so calm when i didn't get through was because i remembered her quote "My new years resolution: Never be afraid to be kicked in the teeth. Let the blood and the bruises define your legacy" this quote made me pick myself up i felt like utter crap and totally humiliated but then i remembered the quote. It kinda numbed the pain a little it made me think just pick yourself up, practice like hell and try again. I'm not going to give up, i want this soooo bad. As Gaga says i'm gonna make it i'm gonna be a star because now which quote do i used here? because i was born this way or because i have nothing left to lose? Huum well both really. Anyway i just wanted to say how much that quote helped me get through today. I sang Electric Chapel by the way it's such a fun song to sing. Maybe i should have sang Born This Way that was my back up... ahh well no point beating myself up about it now just gotta try harder next year.
As i said i really kinda knew that today wasn't going to go that well because well i just had a feeling that i wasn't going to get through but i forced myself to audition just try try and gain a little confidence and get some auditioning experience, but the whole day was just so cold, miserable and seems utterly pointless. Can i just say Simon Cowell how amazingly disorganized and how much your show takes the michael. I mean making us stand around in a queue for 6+ before you even start the auditions what's that all about. It was freezing, rainy i swear my hands went a purpely blue colour. + what was that queue actually for so you could get footage for the show of people standing in line waiting to audition but we didn't actually need to wait in that line did we? no just had to stand there freezing our asses off while pretending to cheer and be happy for the camera. Also for a popular tv show it really doesn't have very good technical supplies if that makes any sense the microphone had an echo to it and we couldn't hear a word the stupid guy at the front was trying to tell us. One of the highlights however was that Mr Dermot O'Leary showed up but for all of 5 minutes and with the stupid echoey mic we had no idea what her was saying to us, also i need to add that Dermot i love you buddy but you were wearing faaaaaaaaar to much makeup! Oh and do not even get me started on the booths, how are people supposed to hear themselves think and concentrate on singing when you can hear every bugger else. Ohmygosh i know i must sound really bitter but i am seriously not bothered about the whole not getting through thing because like i said before i expected it, but it's just the way the whole audition process is it's degrading and unfair. Oh i remembered something else to back up my whole degrading point if you get through you get a gold card but if you don't they scratch you're number off your band right in front of you and you have to leave down the stairwell. Nice.
I am sorry if i sound really bitchy and disrespectful i'm really not trying to. It's just ashame because i've waited like sooo long to audition for that show + now i've finally done it i'm just really dissappointed with the whole experience. It used to be such a good show but i don't think i can watch it this year because i will just be able to see right through it. Ahh well the only good thing on it at the moment is Kelly Rowland anyway.
Ohohohohoh. But on a positive not i have decided to go for that fashion blog i was on about not that anybody is going to read it because face it nobody is even reading these posts apart from my amazing Taraa! I love you my hooker. But as i've said fashion and music are my life and i am happiest when i am styling so it'd be awesome to share my fashion ramblings on a blog because this one is so much fun!
PawsUp!
Amen Fashion †
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